


It's not you

by ace_af



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexual Character, Coming Out, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-05-01 16:57:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19181989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ace_af/pseuds/ace_af
Summary: How Sirius came out to his boyfriend Remus.





	It's not you

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first story on here, so any kind of feedback is highly appreciated.  
> Also english isn't my first language and i just do not undestand how to use a comma so i just kinda guessed...  
> Anyway hope you enjoy♥

Sirius looked at Remus who was reading in the chair closest to the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. He loved how peaceful his boyfriend looked when he seemed so completely at easy, totally engaged in whatever book he was reading at the moment.  
A wave of guild washed over him just from thinking about the fact that he still hadn't told him about his asexuality, although they had been together for almost four month. He kept telling himself it wasn't the right moment but deep down he knew it was because he was scared of the other boy leaving him. He just couldn't loose him not like this, not after pining after him for literal years before they got together. Maybe he could just never tell him? Maybe sex wouldn't be so bad once he tried it?  
"Sirius? Are you okey?" Remus' voice brought him back to reality.  
"Hmm? Oh yeah sure. I am great" Sirius tried to make it sound as authentic as possible, but judging by the look on his boyfriends face he was not a successful as he had hoped. Remus however seemed to let his boyfriends weird behaviour slide for now.  
"We should go to dinner before James and Peter eat all the good food"  
Sirius just grinned and nodded. 

When they left the great hall and headed back to their dorm Sirius had almost forgotten all about his earlier conflict with himself. It wasn't untill he and Remus were alone in the room they shared with James and Peter that he remembered again.  
"Are you gonna join me or what?" Remus asked laying in his bed with a smile on his face.  
Sirius couldn't help to smile back when he climbed in with his boyfriend. Sharing a bed wasn't unusual for them at all, as they had done it ever since second year with both of them getting nightmares quite often. But it felt different since they started going out, it somehow seemed to hold more significance, like it was supposed to lead somewhere. Just thinking about it made Sirius feel uncomfortable so he tried to push those thoughts as far back as possible and just focus on how nice it felt to finally be able to hold Remus the way he had wanted to for so long and for Remus to hold him back.  
Sirius' head was pressed against his much taller boyfriends chest so he just closed his eyes and breathed in his scent  that was so familiar and he could only really define as smelling like coming home after being gone for a while.  
When he felt Remus press a kiss to the top of his head he moved a bit to look at his boyfriend who was smiling down at him.  
He moved up to press a soft kiss to the other boys lips. Remus responded by deepening the kiss and tugging Sirius even closer, his hand on the smaller boys waist.  
Sirius loved kissing Remus, the way his slightly chapped lips felt moving against his own and the way his breath tickled his cheek just the tiniest bit. He loved feeling this close to Remus, especially in moments like this when they were completely alone and just existed in their own little perfect bubble.  
His high however ended when Remus turned them so he was on top of Sirius and moved a hand under his shirt. While Sirius enjoyed the skin on skin contact the intend behind it, which was made even more evident by the hardness in Remus' trousers that Sirius could feel clearly thanks to their new position, however made him want to stop.  
Sirius just tried to focus on the kissing ignoring the unpleasant turn this was taking. But when Remus somehow lost his shirt and moved from kissing his lips to his neck and from touching his torso to starting to unbuckle his belt he just couldn't take it anymore and pushed Remus off.  
The other boy looked at him confused, "What's wrong? Was I moving to fast? I am so sorry I-"  
"No it's just...It's me. I don't want to have sex with you." Sirius interrupted him.  
The confusion on Remus' face was replaced by a hurt expression as grabbed his shirt to put it back on. "Okey. Ouch. I didn't know that the-".  
Sirius cut him off again, "What? No Remus. It has nothing to do with you or your scars! It's me, it's all me. I just don't want to have sex with you because i don't want to have sex with anyone." Sirius averted his eyes to the floor, "I am asexual."  
His confession was met with silence. When he looked up again his eyes were full of tears, threatening to spill over and roll down his face.  
Remus was by his side only moments later, pulling him into a tight hug, "Oh Sirius. Shhh, you're okey. I got you. I am here."


End file.
